1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV. remote because they refuse to walk to the TV. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumb ass?
10. (NEW) Now that I'm in Australia .. people ask me hey there! Hows Australia? ... I mean do you think I'm some weather satellite?!?
I'll keep updating this list as and when 2 different people annoy me for the same stupid reason !!
These are from an email id received ... what i like are the answers !! nice!! someones giving me competition!!
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps n
your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after
years... Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
...Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
....No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
....No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
....No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
....Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV. remote because they refuse to walk to the TV. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumb ass?
10. (NEW) Now that I'm in Australia .. people ask me hey there! Hows Australia? ... I mean do you think I'm some weather satellite?!?
I'll keep updating this list as and when 2 different people annoy me for the same stupid reason !!
These are from an email id received ... what i like are the answers !! nice!! someones giving me competition!!
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps n
your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after
years... Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
...Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
....No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
....No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
....No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
....Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
1 comment:
damn...gaurav...u r so very right.....ur lines r witty...n...eye opening....really enjoyed it............good going clap....keep up.....
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