Questioning Questions!

• Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures*?
• Can you get cornered in a round room?
• How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you're never in darkness?
• If you went back in time and killed your mother would you disappear the moment you killed her?
• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• Is it possible to be totally partial?
• How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
• If our body temperature is 36.5 degrees, how come when its 36 degrees outside it's too hot?
• If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
• Why is it called a soap opera when nobody sings?
• Can a unborn baby fart or burp?
• Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
• Why do they call the small chocolate bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?
• Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?
• Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
• What sound does a bunny make?
• Do you wake up or open your eyes first?
• When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
• What was Captain Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?
• Why do bullies always ask "what's your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?   
• Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliohobia?
• Why would Superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can fly?
• Why is it called a TV set when there is only one?
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
• Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm going to eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
• If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?
• Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?
• Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
• Which way does a compass point in space?
• If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
• Why do you always blush when someone tells you that so and so loves you, even when you know its not true?
• Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
• How do countries make up their own language when they cant even communicate with each other until they have made that language up already?
• Why does everything that tastes good seem to be bad for your health?
• Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters but Charlie has more syllables?
• How come you pay extra money to get something put on your hamburger but they don't take off the price if you get something taken off?
• Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?
• Why do people say PIN number when that really means Personal Identification Number Number?
• Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
• Can someone give up lent for lent?
• If CD*s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
• Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?
• Can you blow a balloon up under water?
• Can crop circles be square?
• Why are there black lines on a basketball?
• Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?
• When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?
• When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what*s the difference?
• Why is it illegal to put money in other people's parking meters?
• If we had a president that was a woman, would her husband be the first man?   
• If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?
• Why is it that however early you are, someone else is always in front of you in a queue?
• If people say if you eat dessert before dinner it will ruin your appetite won*t eating dinner before dessert ruin your appetite for dessert?
• If the weather man says "it's a 50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea if it’s going to rain or not?
• When you snap your fingers, does the sound occur when your middle finger releases from your thumb, or when your middle finger hits the palm of your hand?
• Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?
• Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
• Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?
• What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?
• If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counter clockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator?
• What does the K in K-mart actually stand for?
• Why do donuts have holes?
• Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?
• Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
• How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
• On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?
• Why did Superman wear his underwear on the outside of his tights?    .... it had to be asked!
• If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday?
• Do birds pee?
• Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?
• Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
• "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
• Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
• If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
• Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
• If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair?
• If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
• Do you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice”?
• Why are SOFT balls hard?
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
• If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
• Does a postman deliver his own mail?
• Why are boxing rings square?
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• What's the opposite of opposite?
• If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!       
• If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid?
• If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
• Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
• Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?   
• Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
• How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
• Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants anyway?
• What would you use to dilute water?
• How can someone "draw a blank"?
• Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
• Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
• Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
• Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
• Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold?

One Liners!

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.
2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.
3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.
4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.
5. Success stops when you do.
6. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it.
7. You will never "have it all together."
8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want I will ! be happy."
10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
11. I've learned that ultimately , 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.
12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.
13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
14. We often fear the thing we want the most.
15. Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don't say!
16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
17. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.
18. Life is what's coming....not what was.
19. Success is getting up one more time.
20. Now is the most interesting time of all.
21. When things go wrong.....don't go with them.
22. Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
23. God can mend all broken hearts. You just have to give him all the pieces.
24. A person who asks a question might be a fool for five minutes, but a person who doesn't ask, is a fool forever...
25. A best friend is like a four leaf clover... hard to find! , and lucky to have.
26. A friend is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart.
27. A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.
28. I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
29. Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.
30. Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace... and your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone..10 Now!

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV. remote because they refuse to walk to the TV. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumb ass?
10. (NEW) Now that I'm in Australia .. people ask me hey there! Hows Australia? ... I mean do you think I'm some weather satellite?!?

I'll keep updating this list as and when 2 different people annoy me for the same stupid reason !!

These are from an email id received ... what i like are the answers !! nice!! someones giving me competition!!

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..



2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps n
your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.



3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Why? Would it rather have been you?



4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.



5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after
years... Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
...Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.



6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.



7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
....No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.



8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
....No, its autumn and I'm shedding......



9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
....No it wont. It will just bleed.



10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
....Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius!!™